Forgetting
by faithful muse
Summary: Kio reminds Soubi that he has always been there for him. He knows that his affections won't be returned, but he perseveres anyways.


Kio strolled into the apartment whistling, his arms laden with groceries. "Sou-chan! I'm home," he called out cheerfully.

Kio set the bags on the kitchen counter and began putting food away. He paused momentarily as he pulled out a can of whipped cream. Kio flushed, shoved the can in the fridge, and hurriedly put the rest away.

There was still no sign of Soubi. _Odd, _Kio thought, _normally he'll at least come out and say hello. _ He started folding the bags. "Soubi, I got you more cigarettes. And I grabbed some sake too."

Still no response. Kio paused and pursed his lips. "Soubi?" He stepped out of the kitchen and peered down the hallway into Soubi's bedroom. The room was dark, but the door was open, and he could make out a huddled shape on the floor.

Kio set down the bag he was folding and walked toward the room, pausing in the doorway. "Soubi, did that brat—" he corrected himself quickly, "did Ritsuka do something?"

Soubi didn't respond, he just curled up into a smaller ball.

Kio sighed and crossed the room, kneeling on the floor beside his friend, silently cursing Aoyagi Ritsuka for whatever he had done. Slowly, he put his arms around Soubi, and pulled him close.

They sat together as the minutes ticked by. Occasionally, Kio would feel a tear or two fall onto his shirt, but the room remained quiet.

As the silence pressed around them, Kio's mind was racing. He couldn't take the stillness anymore.

"Soubi," he whispered, "I need to say something. He rearranged their positions so that they were facing each other, but Soubi kept his eyes downcast. "Soubi, I—" Kio's heart started pounding in his chest.

"Soubi, I can't bear to always see you hurt. First it was Seimei." Kio shuddered. "I never knew whether or not you would come home alive. I could barely sleep while you were gone. I spent weeks worrying…and then when you _did_ show up you were always battered, bruised, bloody…" he trailed off and shook his head. He took a deep breath and continued. "I hate to admit it, but I was relieved when he died."

Kio saw Soubi cringe, but he kept his eyes trained to the floor. "I thought you would move on…and then…that kid…Ritsuka…" Kio's hands clenched into fists.

"Do you want this?!" he demanded. "Do you_ like_ being hurt and used, over and over again?!" Kio's voice broke in frustration.

"I never even had a chance," he whispered to himself.

Kio grasped Soubi's face in his hands, but those blue eyes stayed averted. "Soubi, look at me!"

Slowly, Soubi raised his eyes and gazed at Kio's face.

"Soubi…" he murmured, "I've always been here…for you. And yet…you seek out the pain.

Kio tried to make a coherent sentence out of his scrambled thoughts. "I just want to help. I just want—Soubi, I—" Kio's heart was beating so loudly, he could hear his pulse in his ears. He leaned forward and kissed Soubi's down turned lips firmly, quickly.

Kio pulled back and stood abruptly, blushing furiously. "Sorry," he stammered. "T-that was uncalled for. I-I shouldn't…" He spun on his heel to leave the room, the apartment, to escape.

Cool, slender fingers grasped Kio's wrist.

"Kio." Soubi whispered.

Kio froze. He turned to look at Soubi, a million questions crowding his mind.

Soubi pulled Kio onto his lap. "Kio, I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry that your love is wasted on me. I'm sorry that I'm this wretched person." He looked up, his clear blue eyes pleading.

"I want you to forgive them. I've only asked to become what I am. This is all I am good for. I deserve this." Another tear slipped slowly down his cheek.

Kio brushed the droplet away with his fingertips and cupped Soubi's face in his hands, gently this time. He shook his head slowly, in denial of what Soubi had said.

_He deserves more. He deserves so much more than this._

Kio's eyes blazed with determination. "I'll make you forget," he growled, his voice husky. "I'll make you forget this pain, forget yourself."

He leaned in again, but this time it was Soubi who pulled Kio close, kissing him fiercely.

Kio know who it was that Soubi truly loved, who it was that he would give his life for, but he pushed those thoughts away. It didn't matter. All that mattered was now, what he could show him, what he could prove to him.

Their breathing became ragged, and Kio was practically gasping for air as Soubi's passionate lips traveled slowly along his jaw line and down his throat.

Their hands wandered, touching and caressing. Fingers dug into skin and muscles shivered in anticipation.

"Soubi…I…love…you…" Kio panted. He saw the sadness hidden within Soubi's smile, but chose to ignore it. Kio tangled his fingers in Soubi's long blonde hair and pulled his mouth back to his, his lips exultant.


End file.
